Reflections on the futility of New Year's Resolutions, and suggestions for a more efficacious and less stressful approach to personal change.

The Bump at Midnight

Have you ever noticed that at precisely 11:59:59 PM there is a slight bump felt all over the world? Of course, it doesn't happen at once for all time zones, but like clockwork, every hour at midnight there is a slight tremor in your particular time zone. You celebrate by cheering, or kissing your partner, or by sighing in relief that you can finally go to bed. Celebratory customs differ depending on your mood, economic condition, age and culture.

For many of us, the Bump and Midnight results a transcendental epiphany, heralding a new and improved self that will immediately enable the achievement of a lifetime of dreams and goals at last. That is, until it doesn't result in much of anything, which usually takes place within a couple of days to a couple of weeks following the annual Bump at Midnight.

For a reasonable explanation of why this is so, read this article in The Wall Street Journal

The author of that piece, Oliver Burkeman, uses too many words to get his point across, and he fails to really dive deeply into things you actually can do that result in approaching your goals, but he generally understands that transcendental epiphany is not attainable.

How Change Really Works

Effecting personal change involves several things:

• Discovery and Enumeration: Exactly what is it that you'd like to change?
• Prioritization: You probably can't make all the desired changes at once. You need to focus on the most important things first.
• Realistic Goal Setting: Setting expectations too high results in discouraging failure; setting them too low fails to stretch your abilities. You need to stretch, but not to the point of breaking.
• Always Remember Procrastination, Perseverance, Resilience: You must overcome procrastination, persevere even in the face of difficulty, and bounce back from the inevitable failures you will face.
• Efficiency: Making changes is generally a significant effort and if your dance card is already full, you'll be hard-pressed to find the time to work on your changes. There are really only two choices for making more time available for your self-improvement. You can stop doing some of the less important things that are soaking up your valuable time, or you can become more efficient in what you do, thereby achieving the same results with less time invested. To improve your efficiency you might want to look into things like:
  • Improve Concentration and Focus: This will make a significant contribution to your task-related efficiency.
  • Finish What You Start: Unfinished projects are an albatross that prevents growth and act as anchors, keeping you from focusing on the task at hand.
  • Do One Thing at a Time: Don't fall into the trap of thinking that multi-tasking is a great way to kill two birds with one stone. Studies consistently have shown that the least productive approach is to multi-task. You'll get more done, well, if you perform tasks serially, finishing one and then starting the next.
• Embrace Change: Change is inevitable. After all, you're trying to change yourself, so it's reasonable to expect that many around you are also trying to effect some changes. Embracing change involves a few things:
  • Tolerate Ambiguity: Hardly anything is "certain" in this life, and you'll often just have to wait to see what the next deal of the cards offers you.
  • Develop Optimism: Optimism is almost self-fulfilling. Adopting the attitude that "no matter what happens, I'll probably be okay" is a big step forward towards a stress-free and fulfilling existence.
  • Use Your Creativity: Often, adjusting to a significant change in your life can be facilitated with creative solutions, changes in your own behavior, or reframing situations to view them differently. Leave no stone unturned!

Winnemac Prairie

I took a walk today through the neighborhood, something I haven't had the time to do for over a month. Circling back through Wimmemac Park I noticed that the Chicago Park Disstrict had held one of their "controlled burns" of the Prairie Restoration they have been working on for at least the twenty years or so I have lived in the neighborhood. (Living proof that change takes time!) They preiodically burn the prairie to simulate the natural prairie fires that used to be common in the state. These fires helped eliminate the European vegetation that is primarily annual in nature while leaving the indigenous perennial plants with their deep root systems alive and ready to resume growth the following spring.

Conclusion

Get Started!

Don't let all the details of making an important change in your life discourage you. Getting started is the important part. Start small, and gradually build. Choose something you'd like to improve in yourself and then work on that. Be sure to set reasonable goals so you have to stretch but also so you don't become discouraged. And keep at it. You'll have setbacks from time to time, but don't let that stop you from continuing. My favorite meme about of of this is from The Polar Express.

Life as a Journey

The 20th century Greek poet, C.P.Cavafy wrote a brilliant poem called Ithaka that employs Odysseus' journey home from the Trojan War as a metaphor for the journey of life. (From the Poetry Foundation Website)

Head of Odysseus from a sculptural group representing Odysseus blinding Polyphemus. Marble, Greek, probably 1st century AD. From the villa of Tiberius at Sperlonga. Museo Archeologico Nazionale in Sperlonga.

Ithaka

By C. P. Cavafy

As you set out for Ithaka
hope your road is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians, Cyclops,
angry Poseidon—don’t be afraid of them:
you’ll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians, Cyclops,
wild Poseidon—you won’t encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope your road is a long one.
May there be many summer mornings when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you enter harbors you’re seeing for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind—
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to learn and go on learning from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you’re destined for.
But don’t hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you’re old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you’ve gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you wouldn't have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you’ll have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

Copyright Credit: C. P. Cavafy, "The City" from C.P. Cavafy: Collected Poems. Translated by Edmund Keeley and Philip Sherrard. Translation Copyright © 1975, 1992 by Edmund Keeley and Philip Sherrard. Reproduced with permission of Princeton University Press.
Source: C.P. Cavafy: Collected Poems (Princeton University Press, 1975)

Until Next Time

...may your road be a long one,
Full of adventure, full of discoveries.

And by all means, decide to get on!

Happy New Year!